trimmed down to a few simple statements, but the
search for connubial bliss boils down to two basic,
apparently simplistic, but extremely important elements.
To enjoy a long and satisfying marriage, the first task you
should look for is to find the right partner. Your second
task will be to be the right partner. Hence the rudiment
for a successful marriage is finding the right partner.
Most people would agree that a happy marriage is a great
treasure of life. Unfortunately, the chances of a good
marital life are not in your favour. This is well reflected in
the high divorce rate prevailing in our society. The figure
is even higher in some urban areas, and this figure does
not include desertions, separations, or marriages that
stay together, but separation should have been better.
According to social scientists, around twenty-five percent
of all marriages work out well, with some believing the
figure to be as low as ten percent.
Fortunately modern marital therapy methods have been
highly successful in turning the tide. We have marriage
counsellor and online counselling that have made
important inroads into this problem. However, if marital
affiliation is a bad fit, making a marriage satisfactory
becomes an uphill task. Tragically, there is an inherent
disharmony in a lot of marriages.
The reasons for these unsuitable unions of couples could
be a lack of knowledge about what to look for in a mate
or settling for incompatible partners, hoping to see a
change for the better after marriage with a change
coming in their mates. Unfortunately that seldom
happens. If divorce is not what they want to go for, their
marriages frequently result in cheerless, angry or
apathetic forms of co-existence.
Nevertheless, this can be prevented. As stated at the
outset, it is selecting the right partner that is the first task
in making a happy marriage and the best way to ensure
this selection is becoming aware of the factors that make
for a suitable person. And the right time to consider
about these questions is well before marriage. This is
because it becomes difficult to assess the strength and
weaknesses of your relationship once you meet someone
and "fall in love". Nevertheless, those who are married or
seriously dating will hugely benefit from the awareness
about the factors that contribute to marital success.
Questions to Consider Before Marriage
Most of the problems that are faced by marital couple
boil down to few crucial, but avoidable trouble spots. The
questions are meant to draw the attention to these
decisive problems.
1. Do You Accept Each Other As You Both Are?
Accepting each other's flaws, faults and shortcomings are
an important first step towards a happy marriage. This
fundamental issue is the heart of a relationship that
addresses stability and longevity.
2. Has Your Courtship Been Smooth Or Turbulent?
Frequent pre-marital fights are an indication of turmoil
after marriage. Did you have fights and disagreements or
did you have a smooth relationship during your dating
time? If the answer to question 1 is "No", it indicates lack
of acceptance of the basic behavioural traits of each
other. This is reflected in frequent fights and conflicts,
resulting in turbulence in your courtship.
3. Do You Like The Way You Feel About Yourself
When In Presence Of Your Mate?
Your feeling in presence of your mate shows the
underlying, often unstated sentiments of your partner.
This also stems from your feelings of personal
acceptance, but at a deeper level of relationship.
4. Do You Have Compatible Interests, Values,
Attitudes And Goals?
There is a need for harmony about such things like the
way you view the world, the beliefs that you consider
important, and the objectives of your life. These issues
are areas that are frequently considered by dating
services. Without having a reasonable relationship in
these areas, our chances for a long-lasting and successful
relationship are diminished.
5. What Spousal Roles Do You Expect After
Marriage?
You need to determine if your marriage is going to be a
modern or traditional. In marriage, we play the "spousal
roles" of lover, friend, playmate, confidant, and so forth
and our relationship grows with these expectations.
6. Is Your Mate Sexually Attractive And Satisfying To
You?
For a lasting and satisfying marriage, it is important to
have a sexual and affectionate compatibility. Sexual
gratification is an important aspect of marriage and it is
important that it is well met.
7. Do You Feel Comfortable In the Company of
Family and Friends of Your Partner?
Beware that a large cast of lovable and not-so-lovable
characters are included as part of your marriage. If your
mate loves his or her family and asks to spend time with
them, it would be better for you to like them too, or at
least bear with them.
8. Are You Interested in the Satisfaction of Each
Other's Needs?
Love requires a desire to meet the needs and desires of
your loved-one. For many, marriage means satisfying all
their needs. Others consider that it is the duty of their
spouses to look after them. Besides, there are some
people who feel lonely and unhappy being single and
believe that it is only through marriage that they can be
happy. One needs to consider these views for a
successful marriage.
9. Is There The Feeling Of Solid And Enduring
Friendship?
People often describe the reason for their satisfying
marital life to their enduring friendship with their
spouses. Many people find it hard to accept the belief
that a person of the opposite sex could become their
best friend. Hence, they overlook friendship in marriage
as a possibility. However, it is the trust, loyalty, and
support of a good friendship that is the bedrock of a
solid friendship.
10. Are Your Personal And Household Hygienic
Standards Compatible?
As part of the need for orderliness and cleanliness,
incompatibility can seriously damage an otherwise
rewarding partnership. Many people fail to realize its
importance.
11. Are You Willing To Accept Responsibility To
Make The Relationship Working?
It is found that people who understand that the
behaviour of their spouses is influenced by their actions
are in a better position to work out marital difficulties.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8904425
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