Dear Chimamanda,
I was scrolling through twitter to see what was trending
especially with regard to Lagos elections, and stumbled
upon your write-up on the Oba of Lagos's disrespectful
remarks to the Igbos and their right to exercise their civic
rights. Of course being an ardent admirer of your work and
also a fellow Igbo girl, I clicked on the link and hungrily
lapped up each word you poured out, eager to hear your
opinion and ready to carry emotional placards with you by
clicking "share" on my Facebook page. But the more I read,
the more my excitement waned. Because just as I could feel
you word for word, I also disagreed with you, and at a point
I had to put down myopic glasses that beheld Lagos
through your admirable eyes and wear one that showed me
our stark reality.
You see, I AGREE that the Igbo community was unjustifiably
grieved. However, as I wave my solidarity flag with my
fellow Igbos, I can't help but also bite my tongue when I
remember unpleasant comments many Igbos regularly
make toward other tribesmen. For example, the
disrespectful way some Igbos address Hausas as "abokis",
dumbheads, and "nama" meaning cow! As you may know,
"aboki" means friend but watch an Hausa man when an
Igbo calls him that in a disrespectful tone. He stiffens and
looks annoyed because he knows the tone he is called with
is one of disrespect and insult. (some Yorubas call
northerners "mulla"; I dunno what that means but that's
for another day *sigh*)
Chimamanda, every tribe is guilty of tribalism; it's by
default. It's not right. It should be fiercely fought against
but shamefully this is the current reality. HOWEVER not
every tribe is guilty of "PEACEMAKER-ISM", and I would love
the Igbos to be known more for the guilt of MAKING PEACE.
So we go on and on about the Oba's comment and what
happens? Fights, fracas, and some fathers and sons on both
sides lose their lives and people lose property and
investments.
As you may have noticed from my name Ijeoma Omotade, I
am Igbo married to Yoruba and happily married too. I went
into the Yoruba culture and CONSCIOUSLY took time to
learn about it. It was when I decided to marry that I knew
how deep tribalism has eaten even into our so called Igbo
and Yoruba elite. *Sigh* Having also schooled in the north
during my secondary school days, and as much as I greatly
admire the peaceful and simple nature of the average
northerner, sadly they are not left out of the "tribalism"
card-carrying.
As an Igbo woman, I may not agree with all the Yoruba do
but I live in their culture and I'm in their land, so I respect
them and in turn they sense my aura of respect and
willingness to understand them and they treat me well. And
when I get an opportunity to talk about MY CULTURE and
correct some misconceptions they have about Igbos, I do
so with GREAT PRIDE because there are so many great
things about us they don't know! And BECAUSE I respect
them, THEY LISTEN and LEARN, even through jokes and
laughter.
Even the few who were antagonistic toward me, embrace
me now, or are at least civil toward me. It didn't make me
any less dignified to understand better another man's
culture; it made me wiser, and stronger and more
appreciative of the richness of our country. The flagrant
disregard for other's culture exhibited by many Nigerians is
really bad! How do you expect to reason with someone
unless you understand their worldview?
Truly, we wouldn't tolerate half the things we expect from
Lagos in Aba or Onitsha or Enugu. Igbos want to be part of
the House of Assembly and be among the decision makers
for Lagos state. That in itself is not bad because a state
stakeholder HAS A RIGHT to be among those making
decisions for the state. But historically and by default,
people kick against non-tribesman being at the decision-
making level and our flippant comments about "taking over
the land" is not helping matters either! Why do we want to
"take over" another man's land? It wasn't bare land before
people came and developed it. It's people's ancestral
homes, and even in a democracy where many are working
tirelessly to water the progressive idea of ONE NIGERIA, it is
still important we recognize and help preserve each other's
heritage. For only then can we truly build the foundation for
lasting synergy and proudly BECOME ONE, for the greater
good of OUR LAND.
Personally I'm deeply hurt hearing some Yoruba leaders
telling my people that we should be "grateful" living in
Lagos; that is utterly unfair, point blank. Any Yoruba person
saying that is very shallow minded. We Igbos work HARD for
our living, and add IMMENSELY to the growth and
development of the city. Try shutting down major trade
markets dominated by Igbos for just one week and watch
Lagos economy go haywire! But so does the Hausa
community in the east that bring in food and supply our
markets; they work hard too! Let them stop the lorries from
bringing in food to the south and watch what happens. So I
plead with EVERYONE, my IGBO KINSMEN inclusive. And
this is my plea, that we PLEASE speak as we would like to be
spoken to; "do as you would be done by", RESPECT AND
LOVE your fellow man...ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL BY
GOD!
I also share a bit of the Lagos indigene sentiment. I
wouldn't want my hometown to be "cosmopoliticized" and
my ancestral homes snatched away and turned into
highways and hotels, and be told my home town is "no
man's land". That's highly disrespectful. History has deep
roots in this land.
I don't support the Oba, he is not my relative, nor did he
"settle" my family. In his heart he is just like many other
Igbos, Hausas and Yorubas; TRIBALISTIC! The only
difference is that he is an influential public figure and so we
can all tweet and Facebook his bad communication skills; a
public figure who didn't think about the implications of his
words before he spoke. However, that statement would
have been made by even an angry IGBO king or Hausa Emir
because I don't see anyone of them doing any better!
In a quest for peace, there are two parties; the one making
amends and the one accepting the apology. Let us the
grieved accept, and move on. Let us all learn to APPRECIATE
and LOVE one another. The other alternative is not better.
No one wants tribal clashes; people will die, women will be
widowed, children will be orphaned, on both sides...and
Chimamanda, you will probably write a book about it, far
away from all the madness, on your creative desk; the one
that IS NOT IN LAGOS!
…I still remain an ardent admirer…
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